I have been happy, and feeling like me.


although i have done nothing of the much, and spent Thanksgiving mostly by myself, i have been full and calm. it's hard to write about calmness, about the normalities of stress and business, of strange flutters incomplete and a writing life churning but not yet on the page.

today a new friend and i went and printed out a bunch of my summer photos on fancy big paper, and it was exciting to see each one after the 30-minute slow agonizing wait. but that someone i hardly know volunteered to help me with this... and help me with screenprinting text overtop if that's what i want, well, i guess i'm pretty lucky.

i like feeling a little bit nervous and full of too many things to do. i'm fretful about the idea of moving during this, the Encrazed Time, but i know it will get done. now i just have to finish my material for critique week. and figure out what to do about the pining.

and i was just thinking about something that happened last week when i went grocery shopping: having just run out of organic coffee, and after dragging my heals on buying a new batch, I realized quite profoundly that my life is incomplete without my morning brew... and thus went to the store and with a sigh, picked out the organic stuff that didn't happen to be on sale. and when i got up to the counter, some boss-dude was giving the sales clerk a hard time. he had out his little clipboard and was looking all solemn and making dash marks whenever the sales clerk would even move. she cracked some joke about needing a bagger even though nobody was in line, and the manager didn't even smile a tiny bit, but made another note on his clipboard. so, this sales clerk and i exchanged a look that read something like: some mighty big-pants has a billow up his slacks, no doubt. and then she picked up my organic coffee and ran it once, then twice over the scanner without it making a beep. so she looked over at the manager, who was still focused on the clipboard, and then without any acknowledgement to either me or him or the organic coffee itself, tossed the coffee in my bag. y whala... free organic morning o'happiness.

so i'm content even without, but the things that keep landing my way make me smile.