n. infantile pattern of suckle-swallow movement in which the tongue is placed between incisor teeth or between alveolar ridges during initial stage of swallowing (if persistent can lead to various dental abnormalities) v. [content removed due to Bush campaign to clean up the internet] n. act of nyah-nyah v. pursuing with relentless abandon the need to masticate and thrust the world into every bodily incarnation in order to transform it, via the act of salivation, into nutritive agency

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Nightmares = 100% Accuracy

Well, once again the nightmare radar illness detection system proves its complete accuracy. That is, I don't get nightmares unless I'm quite ill. Thus, if I have nightmares, something is wrong.

The good news =
I went to Planned Parenthood and had my annual. They were, by and large, nice albeit slightly condescending, which is perhaps a prerequisite to becoming a gynecological nurse or doctor. I suppose they should be allowed this stylistic quirk in exchange for spending so much time looking at women's cootches. Annual exams are, by nature, the second most uncomfortable and embarrassing of doctor's visits, the first perhaps involving anything anal. I have to treat these visits like thirty minutes of hell followed by some sumptuous treat -- in this instance, a three-salad plate at the local co-op. Anyhow, I made it through and will spare you the details, but everything is okay.

I.e. no cancer. Which was what my paranoia was telling me I had.

The bad news = However, the next day, my hip and abdominal pain was worse and I had developed a rash by the evening all along my hip and lower back. I suddenly thought I knew what I had, and so went to the cheaper walk-in clinic, and was told I was correct: shingles. The nurse told me to expect it to get worse before it gets better. Good times.

The nurse was, by the way, delightful. She was an older woman, and chatted at length about the fall she took last year onto her tailbone and the pain that went along with it, and she offered full sympathy for my dire condition, and then she waved away my co-pay with a "don't worry about it." Granted, it was a very easy diagnoses for her, since I had already figured out what I likely had... but how nice can you get?! Good karma points for the nurses...

The other good news = I have medication, including pain meds, and am feeling a thousand times better for knowing what is wrong. I'm still going to keep my back appointment at the end of the month, but hopefully the rest of the problems should be cleared up by then (2-3 weeks).

I'm feeling pretty amazed at my mind for always saving the nightmares for sicknesses. How strange is that? I kept "waking up" dreaming that I was stuck in an underground grotto, and that bugs and small animals (or, in one instance, a crocodile) were gnawing on me... It's hard to believe nothing is seriously wrong when night after night your mind tells you to get used to the idea of a grave, no?

Further Good News:

NM bought us tickets to Chicago for a week for my Christmas present. The idea is to go to the AWP conference as well as visit friends, and I think NM bought the ticket so I can be her bodyguard... she expects her Evil-Ex to be there... but I'll not look too closely at her motivations and say HOOOORAY to seeing my beloved Chicago and friends again at the tail end of February. I'll have to break my life-long personal ban on the AWP conference and try to see it with an open mind, maybe learn something, but it'll be worth it. Entirely.

Classes are seeming good this quarter. Two different preps, which is sweet... no more repeating myself over and over and over again... and very full classes, which is helpful for the sense of job security. I have a good feeling about this quarter, and am feeling quite positive. My yoga class is ridiculously easy, and the instructor is cute... so I think I can continue with it through the hip pain... and a walk with MH at the river yesterday nailed the positive feeling down... swans, eagles, hawks, sunshine, beaver trees, and even an owl. And today: fresh snow, this winter's first in Bville. Herald was wretchedly bad yesterday on the trail, and I'm going to have to find some kind of solution -- either a trainer or a shock collar (recommendations?) -- but he always knows when he's in the doghouse and acts extra extra adorable to make up for it... sticking his head in the snow and holding it there, and then rolling around and romping. I have plans to take some tasty pain pills, make some coffee, and hole up next to the window, alternately reading a book and watching the animals revel in the snow. Delicious!
I hope you're feeling better!
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