n. infantile pattern of suckle-swallow movement in which the tongue is placed between incisor teeth or between alveolar ridges during initial stage of swallowing (if persistent can lead to various dental abnormalities) v. [content removed due to Bush campaign to clean up the internet] n. act of nyah-nyah v. pursuing with relentless abandon the need to masticate and thrust the world into every bodily incarnation in order to transform it, via the act of salivation, into nutritive agency

Monday, October 02, 2006

i should be reading but i'm going to mention...

...the funny thing that happened today.

So, I've been fighting, or near-fighting, with the evil loan company, which is in this case Citibank, who acquired my loans about five or six months ago and have been giving me headaches since that moment.

See, I'm a student, and I have loans. They are headaches. And too big. But not as big as many folks' loans or headaches since I turn down lots of loans too. But still.

Anyhow, since we have our evil President who seems intent on not changing my mind about him and his folks in any capacity at all, there's been the removal of our nice 4.25% interest-rate cap from our student loans, and basically the rates doubled overnight on July 1st. So, back before it doubled I decided to consolidate all my new loans with my old ones and lock in the better interest rate. So, I got my butt in gear and did that.

Only, it wasn't easy, and I really really hate forms and am actually form-inept, which my friends tell me should be considered a developmental disability in my case. So, I called up the Citibank advise line several times to make sure I was doing it right and considering all the different considerations I should be considering.

Each representative seemed to disagree with the next, and I had one person tell me to look up the addresses for the companies with my new loans and call Citibank back when I had them, which I did, and the next person told me I didn't need to look them up, they had them on file, and in fact I had the wrong addresses. I asked if I could get the right addresses, and she said, and I quote:

"Don't worry about it. We have the addresses. Just send the forms in."

To which I said, and I quote, "Are you sure? It says on this form that you must have the addresses on there."

And she said, "Yeah, don't worry about it. We have them."

Thus, I sent in the forms a few days before the due date, and then called a day before to once again make sure everything was in order. They assured me it was.

Yeah. You know what's coming. I get the letter almost a month later telling me they had consolidated the loans that were already consolidated and in their holding! But not the others. You know, the unconsolidated ones.

I called them up right away and asked what's up and they told me that because I did not put down the addresses, they could not consolidate those loans. I got really really pissed at this point, and tried very hard not to yell at the poor woman, but made a couple of sarcastic comments nonetheless, like:

"Why would I want loans that are already consolidated to be consolidated again under the same interest rate and with the same company? It did not strike you to call me and ask this? Or ask what the other addresses were?"

And then I told her the whole story and told her that the conversation I had with the advise-line woman should be recorded in their files since they told me they recorded everything. Look it up.

She knew I was pissed and also knew I was trying very hard to be nice to her. So, she said she'd launch an official inquiry and get back to me in four working days. I told her I would be out of communication range, fishing, in two working days and asked if she could speak with my mother instead of me. She said no. I said pretty please. She said no, but she'd handle things personally and get back to me in a month when I was back. The month passed and I didn't hear back from her when I got back, and everything was awhirl and so I didn't contact them like I should have, partially because I was still pissed off and didn't want to deal with them.

But this Friday, I got a letter from them and it says that...

I am two weeks past due on my payment and have been remanded to the collections agency!

(p.s. I am still a student, and filled out all the official paperwork, which I remind you I am retarded at but got right that time, last year to have my in-school deferment, regarding which Citibank sent three notices to me confirming when they took over my loans.)

So, truthfully, I spent a part of this weekend absolutely stewing and requesting an official complaint form (in my head since the office was closed) and worrying that I was going to have to come up with an additional hundred bucks. Of course, I called Citibank this morning and told the poor customer service girl what had happened in my surliest voice, and she said, roughly speaking:

"Oh that's a mistake. You have a student deferment until the end of next year, and we're processing your other loans for consolidation, since it was our error."

If she had been in the same room, I would have kissed her, which would have been strange after all the stress they've given me, but I have to say that after all the build-up, this conversation did make for a few completely joyous butt-wiggles.

Oh, and two other things:

I went apple-picking yesterday with a few friends and it was super lovely. I'm badly in reading debt though. And also, my (roomate's) kitty cuddled upside-down on me all Saturday as I worked, and her little paws curled up into the air, and her tail wicked out over my keyboard, and she is the fluffiest, softest, cutest kitty in the world and I'm never giving her back. Never! Viva la build-ups and the resulting pull-ups!
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