Last night, I dreamt I had to get rid of a murdered body. Although it was in Alaska and there were miles of forests everywhere, I felt I had to wrap the body in plastic, take it to the dump, and wait for all the people to leave so I could offload the corpse with a bunch of trash. It was probably the scariest dream I've had in a long time.

Anyhow... for my Oulipo class this week, we had to do a translexical translation. It seems my two-part function in the class is to speak during the horrifyingly silent periods, and also to mess up, in some way or another, each of our assignments. I still like what I came up with, but I think technically I changed too much of the syntax for it really to be right. But here's my translation of this:

Brer Bush

Not ter lon’ ago, I ax’d de Congress ter pass a ‘portant spendin’ bill dat’d set our fightin’ folk wid de funs en bend dey need. ‘Stead, folksa de Hous’en Senate pass a bill dat flips de knowhow our milltarry co’manners fo’ de ‘pinions of gonnerment. So, I vetered de bill.

Dis why de bill past wunt wuk: Fus, de bill’d mandate a rigid en artificial line fo’ ‘merican troops ter start a leavin’ from ‘Rack. Dat ‘moval cud start earlyz july fust spite de situation on de groun’. Make no sense tell de enme when you plan ter start settin’ tail. All de tuhrists’d have ter do wud be mark der calendars en bimeby gather der strength begin plottin’ how ter overthrow de gonnerment en take chage a ‘Rack. I speck settin’ a deadline fo’ withdrawal’demoralize de ‘Rack folkn’d courage murdrers ‘cross de Middler East ta 'snatch out’r eyeballs, t'ar out er yeras by de roots, en cut off’n er legs, en send a letter dat ‘merica not ter likely ter keeper word. Settin’ a deadline fo’ withdrawal is settin’ a date fo’ failure, en dat’d land us in a mess o’jaweed.

Bimeby, de bill’d be like muzzlin’ de dog yer got ter bite ta fox. Atter forcin’ most de folk ter withdraw like de beas’ wuz atter em, de bill’d lay de rule fer de remainin’ co’manners en der folk ter figh’ de enme. Dat means ‘merica's co’manners in de middler de grass’d hatter take fightin’ ‘vice from folk thouzand mile ‘way in Wuzhingtern, D.C. Dish yer is a preskripshun fo’ chaos en confushun, en lay’t on yer folksz like to put’m in middla nest o’bees wid der fetched honey all acroxt der lips.

Bimeby, de bill is loaded wid nar-bajillions dollar in non-potent spendin’ dat has nuddin ter do wid fightin’ de woe on tuhror. Congress shud axe fer dese spendin’ fun’ on der own attenshun en not as a fofth whiskey poed inner pint ah bahr.

Dose ‘cratic leaders know datta mess a folk in Congress disagree widder sass en dat dar not nuff votes ter override de veter. I speck many ‘crats saw dish yer bill as chanceter maker political statement about der fuss onter woe. Dey sent der message, en now time ter put dese wuds hind us en len hanner our folks wid de funds dey need.

Bimeby, I know that my choice of Uncle Remus Ebonics for Bush's speech is a bit suspicious, and quite possibly entirely insulting to all of black vernacular everywhere. Considering that the Brer Rabbit stories were just about my favorite stories growing up (the rhythm of them is amazing), I might have picked a better application of the lexicon. But I thought it'd be interesting, that's all.

Anyhow... since I messed up the first try, although it was great fun, here is another version that is much more accurately a translexical translation:

Yoga Bush

Twelve asanas ago, I asked the Buddhi to pass an emergency dharma spending mandala that would provide our brave yogis and yoginis in shauca with the tapas and satya they need. Instead, yogi of the Buddhi passed a mandala that substitutes the kundalini of gurus for the dyana of our military swami. So a few chakras ago, I vetoed the mandala.

Tonight I will explain the asmita for this bhakti and my desire to work with Buddhi to resolve this dharma as quickly as possible. We can begin tomorrow with a bipartisan mantra with the brahman here at the Prana.

Here's why the mandala Buddhi passed is unacceptable. First, the mandala would mandate a rigid and artificial samadhi for meditation yogis to begin withdrawing from Ashram. That neti-neti could start as early as July 1st, and it would have to start no later than October 1st regardless of the niyamas on the Ashram.

It makes no prana to tell the yamas when you plan to start withdrawing. All the yamas would have to do is mark their svadhyaya and gather their viniyoga and begin plotting how to overthrow the gurus and take santosha of the Ashram. I believe setting a vinyasa for samadhi would demoralize the Ashram yogi, would encourage shodhana across the broader om and send an aum that meditation will not keep its karma. Setting a samadhi for neti-neti is setting a ishvar-pranidhana for dharana, and that would be irresponsible.

Second, the mandala would impose impossible brahmacharya on our swami in asmita. After forcing most of our yogis to withdraw, the mandala would dictate the asteya under which the remaining swami and yogis could engage the yamas. That means meditation’s swami in the bikram of a combat ashram would have to take fighting aparigraha from gurus 6,000 ananda yoga away in Prana. This is a bikram for dhyana and kripalu, and we must not impose it on our yogis.

Yeah, so in that one the syntax is exactly the same, and the theory behind this type is translation is that it demonstrates how closely allied with form (syntax) the meaning of a text is... that is, that the meaning and tonality of a piece of writing is developed just as much by form, rhythm, structure as it is by the subject.

Pretty convincing if you ask me.