Sunflowers On the Porch: As of September 1st, I have health insurance for a few months. I plan on making appointments soon to get that MRI and see what is wrong with my back. I might get insoles too. A check-up in general... is that pushing things too far? I've also thought about acupuncture and counseling. Maybe massage therapy, plastic surgery, liposuction. For some reason, health insurance also makes me feel a little reckless... like going camping, or dancing more frequently. Maybe carrying heavy objects and wrassling with Herald. Like taking more yoga so I can one day go kite-boarding. Good thing I only have it for a few months; wouldn't want it going to my head.


Pumpkin Turning Orange: Last Thursday was my last day of the quarter. No more teaching for a couple of weeks although I have tons of work to do in association with it, plus some meetings I'm supposed to attend. I hated teaching the 5-week intensive class and will never do it again. Students should have been thinking "Woah, Intensive!" but were thinking "Swee-eet, Less Weeks!" I also realized that I'm not sure I like teaching. It's something of a revelation thinking about it. I mean, I might be wavering on the point between detesting and despairing. I didn't realize it had gone that far... But I can't see a single advantage to it any more. I feel cut off, judged constantly, without compatriots, without help or method of growth, unappreciated, and bored. Not to mention, I feel like I have more (or less, if we're speaking about personal investment) to offer the world in terms of talent and ability than pushing freshman composition. I've talked about this with various people who kind of wonder whether I should suck it up because jobs are always a little on the "yick" side. But, I don't think I've honestly asked myself: given the skills that I currently have, what else could I be doing, and doing well?


Greenhouse Peppers: I can't ruddy believe it's September. This summer went ridiculous fast.


A Garden From the South: The gallery next door to my studio is moving out of the building because DP (the landlord and owner of the kid's theater stuff) has taken to having all the children's plays in the evening, particularly the weekend evenings, including those of the downtown Artwalk (last Friday). Despite the fact that the gallery has put tons and tons of time, energy, and money into advertising its rotating exhibits & shows, it can't get the walk-through, and the gallery's obviously loyal and fanatic friends seem bothered and turned off by walking through 50 dressed up children squealing in the darkened walkways (darkened to avoid backlighting in the theatre). Actually, for walk-through, it pretty much kills it 100%. As for me, I haven't yet invested in advertising, being that I felt my time would be better spent working , for the time being at least, but I was hoping to get walk-through compatriots and guiltily, I admit I was depending on the gallery's visitors popping next door to my studio, since they're right next door n' all. But even with that... I had two visitors on Friday - one interested, vaguely, in what I'm doing; the other merely interested in the space (again). Although I'm of English heritage, I'm thinking about responding the question "If you don't mind me asking, how much do you pay?" with "I won't mind as long as you look at my work." Is this unreasonable? Anyhow, my mind is humming around this a bit. About what I actually want to get out of having a studio.


A Garden from the North: I went to the String Band Jamboree with a friend last weekend. We camped out and wandered around from camp to camp until 3am, listening to the strings, and accordians, washboard drums, broomstick bass, fiddles, banjos, harmonicas, voices, clapping, laughter. It started raining sometime around 4am and woke me up with the sound on the lid of the tent, and I could still hear the bands and the laughing, and at 5am when the rain stopped, I woke up again and the music was still on... just a few, dwindling, the light coming in. Next year, I'll stay for the whole weekend.


What We've Canned So Far: Yesterday I picked plums and tried to make plum jam. The plum jam is now being called plum syrup. Note to self: more pectin than is called for when dealing with juicy plums. I'm also trying to make some plum liquor: we'll see how that goes. I have to leave the jar on its side and then rotate it once a day for 16 days, then filter and bottle. Mom's made pickles, salsa, and beans from her tomatoes, my cucumbers, dill, pole beans... it's a pretty sweet deal. I feel like a country rustic. Maybe I am a country rustic?


"Strange Fruit," or the Ones that Floundered: I'm supposed to send out at least 3 writing pieces to 5 different places this week (or ready them). That was my agreement with self. It's time. (It's past time)


Flowers through Flowers: I think I've decided that I'm moving to Seattle in January. I'm not positive of the date, but I'm feeling strongly about it... that it's time to stop pretending that Bville will ever be anything more for me than a brief respite place, a stop at the tip, a place of good family love but otherwise bad luck. I'm excited about it and wondering: when and why did I start becoming so absolutely petrified of change? I don't think I plan on teaching when I move there, so I need to find other writing/editing/etc jobs. I don't know what it will be. I don't know how to find a place that will let me bring Herald. I don't, above all, know how I'm going to stand driving in that place! Seattle = great place, shitty transportation options.


16-Foot Sunflower: But I'm more excited by the commitment I have from two friends, maybe three, to start writing/sending a page a day... it begins on September 15th, I think, although I have to check with the crew. I'm scared; I haven't written in so long. I feel like I ran out of someone to talk to. Interesting, because I stopped writing right after telling the Bville Ex that I could not find my way into being her friend. But I also decided that I wouldn't write another thing that is in any way connected to me, me, me... I don't mean "out of my experience," but I do mean out of my sense of self. Anyhow, my writing beginning on Sept 15 will be for JW, AW, and maybe NM, and there will be no rules, none, except a page a day.