Not really, but why not say it.

So, this weekend I've got plans to set up the Writing Prompt blog (open for name suggestions)... actually, I was planning on doing it today, but I always end up dog-tired on Friday and all my glamorous plans of doing my grading and prep work after working out, then pursuing creative matters at least until 5pm always tend to go by the wayside as I feel my eyelids get heavier and heavier, and the light in the studio seems less and less sustaining (I need two windows instead of one, even if it meant it would be colder in here). ((That reminds me... the sun is now coming up when I drive to classes in the morning, and it makes the world a truly beautiful place... a little dawn instead of dark.))

Not to mention that today I stuffed myself with a pita-wrap from the Pita Pit upon finishing/escaping my workout. Speaking of which, today marks the first month of re-animation. My goal was to workout 12 times (3x a week) and lose 10lbs. I did the former and about 7lbs... regardless, I'm pretty sure that my thighs are looking a little more toned and that the belly bulge, while still overwhelming, is slightly less inclined to slide downwards upon my hip and push off every pair of pants I have. (Contrary to my expectations, I have found that the bigger the belly bulge, the more likely the pants will fall down and demonstrate crack. Gravity + bulge = too much, just too damn much for the belt.) So... tonier thighs and less bulge are a definite start.

I know that, for all you out there who have already been in the beneficent habit of exercising, my explorations in the world of lifting a finger (while not fishing or thrashing on a dance floor or some other form of fun tricky-exercise, tricky in that it tricks you into exercising without you realizing it) is somewhat less endlessly fascinating than it is to me, which is in a Jeopardy meets Boot Camp meets Surrealism kind of way. Ah well! Anyhow... I've been trying to pay attention to "Resting Heart Rate," "Regular Heart Rate," "Weight-loss Heart Rate," "Cardio Heart-Rate," "Metabolism-changing Heart Rate" and "Maximum do not exceed under penalty of death Heart Rate." I never knew that you actually had to be gasping somewhat in order to be doing the kind of exercise that changes your metabolism--i.e. has long-term effects and not just the short-term ones.

All of a sudden, things become clear... why, in my life, I've been in-shape and out-of-shape, but the only time I lost a significant amount of weight and kept it mostly off was during the Elizabeth-debacle, when I lost my vision (went blurry... doctor said extreme emotion can do that), couldn't focus (sat still longer than 5 minutes and would be bawling), and had to finish my Master's thesis, teach a class, and take two classes, one of which was the exact replica of what Hell will look like for me if Christianity proves more exact than I suspect. Not only did I stop eating, which no doubt can effect some weight loss, but in order to write all my papers and grade and such, I found that the only thing that would focus my vision and my head was to alternate 15 minutes academic work and 15 minutes jumping up and down, thrashing to music, running in circles, punching a punching bag, walking maniacally through the park (at least 3x a day they neighborhood park saw me pass through).

And so I loss 40lbs in a 1.5 months... not recommended, I'm sure, but I could have sworn that after this my metabolism had changed radically because I eventually went back to eating the same as I did before, but didn't really gain back much weight until I entered my current nearly-supine lifestyle. So, now I get it... it wasn't just the oxytocin, loss of appetite, and a little exercising, but the manic, gasping state of the exercising.

Don't think I can even come close to doing that again... you have to be crazy to do that kind of shit. And I don't plan on falling in love in that way again. Heh.

So, I've been experimenting each day with just how high I can get my heartrate without the process making me really, really want to stop going to the gym, and also without passing out, but trying to maintain at least 50 minutes of sweaty-exercise without stop. Today was pretty damn hard (Fridays are), but I did okay... 15 minutes of "gaspy exercise." And thus... rewarding myself by stuffing my face with a Pita. Sigh.

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Teaching seems to be going okay... I have two extremely different classes despite the fact that they are technically the same class, with the same reading and prep. But one is a 8am class and the other is a 5pm class. The advantage to the 5pm class is that I have a wider range of student ages--from 17 to 50-something--and so they have more experience, diversity, and are more interesting in general. The disadvantage, and one I didn't fully expect, is that the evening class people are waaaay more tired (tend to work full time as well as going to school) and hard to stir up and get jiving and moving. The morning class is truly lively... not at all difficult to get talking... in fact, hard to squash the talking sometimes (we're two days behind the other class, mainly because they talk more and ask more questions). They are crappier writers though... turn less work in and such. It's hard to decide which I like more; it's very helpful when the students have energy, but it's also very helpful for grading if they are clever thinkers. Interesting dilemma.

But other than one criticism setback that tested my sensitivity levels... an older woman student coming to me in my office hours to tell me, several times, that she "doesn't usually hate her classes [or her teachers, she said once]," so she felt she ought to have a conversation with me, which mainly consisted of her telling me that everything I did was confusing, overly taxing, messy, and very unclear--the reading, lectures, assignments, grading grids, etc etc. This whole conversation made me want to go home and curl up under some blankets and contemplate any other possible escape route... perhaps a job where I care less so don't get hurt as much, or perhaps life as a beach bum, or perhaps a job that pays me more so the criticisms don't come with that sting of handing a pile of dung to the garbage collector... anyhow, all pretty unlikely and I got over it, and now simply gaze at this student with the internal lazy-eyelid glare when I see her. Her loss. ...but other than that, the quarter is going pretty well.

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Herald is doing well too, I think. He's also on a new diet, which he doesn't like much, but he's gotten chunky. He paid me back for the food augmentation yesterday though with a punch to the eye. See said picture above. I told my students and friends various stories ranging from "an academic dispute" to "someone insulted President Obama's speech," but the truth is that he was upside down (which is how he spends most of his days) and I went up and pinched his puppyhocks and whoops, didn't get out of the way.

I am rather enjoying the disreputable look it has given me.

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Speaking of Obama's State of the Union speech, you might have noted that I've left off on politics here mostly, which is not because I don't care or pay attention but because it seems like all I hear is bad news lately... and I was ready for a little good news when we voted Obama in. Anyhow, I liked the State of the Union speech, the tongue-lashing delivered to various miscreants sat with me better than if Obama'd gotten up there and simply said what he "saw for the future" while ignoring the logjam. I know he's gotten criticism for it--mainly for not setting a specific agenda forward in place of chastising, but honestly, I think he's already made his goals clear, and so now he needs to get the Congress, and the American people moving.

I feel a little disappointed that in his first year, Obama hasn't done some of the things he said he would do, but I still feel that one year is not so much time, especially considering the crapstorm he walked into.

I was intrigued, I must admit, to hear him recapitulate his goal of repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" within the year, which is long time overdue, and also to look into student loans--forgiving them after 20 years, or 10 years if you are in public service. Does working at a community college for little pay count as public service? If not, I'm going to go find out what public service is. But I've been feeling pretty desperate to find some solution to the student loan dilemma, although I must admit I was willing to accept merely reinstating the interest rate cap that Bush, Jr. removed, so I can consolidate and set up an economically feasible plan for payback.

But I'm also still feeling a little despondent over the health bill (probably) failure, which I take as a serious indictment of government corruption by corporate interests. The pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, hospital-supply companies, and higher-paid medical members are going to be difficult if not impossible, I guess, to conquer. No doubt because we have the golly, gosher, best damn medical service in the world! For those who can afford any.

I guess it's too much to expect a practical, basic plan if not an elaborate, excellent plan.

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Anyheww, I best be off, but one of these days I should describe the gym people of this town and others can tell me if they're normal. But I think (heh) I am going to go home... Wolf Moon tonight, maybe a day for the hot tub.