n. infantile pattern of suckle-swallow movement in which the tongue is placed between incisor teeth or between alveolar ridges during initial stage of swallowing (if persistent can lead to various dental abnormalities) v. [content removed due to Bush campaign to clean up the internet] n. act of nyah-nyah v. pursuing with relentless abandon the need to masticate and thrust the world into every bodily incarnation in order to transform it, via the act of salivation, into nutritive agency

Monday, October 11, 2010

quite possibly the meanest rejection I've ever received

"This does nothing for me. I'm going to pass."
And I'm going to go burn my computer now. Why would someone write something like that instead of the rote but polite "thank you for your interest in our journal but..."?

Oh. In retrospect, I was a little tongue and cheek in my submission letter, but it was in response to the fun tongue and cheek tone of their submission guidelines and 'manifesto'.

[In case you are wondering, by "tongue in cheek" I mean that, among other such things, they ask you to prove you are not spamming your work to every known journal by citing an author from their archives who you "really enjoy or really dislike" and that submissions can either be "joint locks or chokes." In my submission letter, I asked them what they meant by the latter (because I liked the way the phrase sounded), and I said something to the effect that their archives held many pieces I really enjoyed, and perhaps a few that I didn't, but that I would cite X because her work is amazing. I thought I was being responsive rather than rude, but it must not have come across that way.]

Mental note: be excessively dry and straight-forward, no matter what. These people don't have a sense of humor, regardless of whether they pretend otherwise.

I guess they have one less reader now though.

I still feel like crap, however.
This pisses me off so much. Do they want anyone to subscribe when they send out letters like that? Or if you already subscribed, you should cancel. Also, I'd like to know what journal it was (privately) so I can make sure to never subscribe. This would be a good one for Jac's Rejection Collection.
I'd like to file this sort of stuff under why I don't send my work out very often. I'd been feeling guilty about not submitting, so I forced myself to do it anyway... this is my third rejection, which means I don't yet have an excuse to stop (I think it's ~1,000 rejections without publication?) regardless of the total smackdown.

But still. Why do people want to subject themselves to this crap? To be 'heard'?

Anyhow, I'll privately send you the journal name (and editor), but this place is one of Jac's (many) success stories.

Oh, can you tell me one day how one subscribes to online journals. I'd like to do it if possible because making the rounds is exhausting... maybe if there was some notification system, that would work better. :) I now use the google alerts to keep up with my friends' publications, but not sure that would work with the journals themselves.

Oh, and I want a list of your top 5 journals for reading. This little town doesn't have a spot to peruse them, so I need to shell out some money. But I don't know where to begin. Perhaps if I get my friends' lists, that will be a starting point!
How completely and unnecessarily snide of them! I too am curious about what journal responded in this way. As if the whole submission/rejection process isn't difficult enough already...this is the sort of thing that would make me obsessively write and re-write a response to their response (which would never get sent, just cycle uselessly on in my brain...)
Yah, I'll give you the journal name too... I feel like I'm protecting everyone. But what if their acceptances are the best thing since sliced bread? :)

I'm feeling better about the rejection though. The email put me into a funk for a week or so there - it hadn't been the best week anyways - feeling like a failure especially since summer has passed and once again I didn't meet my goal. And yes, AKR, possible responses to their response were cycling my brain in a big way.

But now I think I'm accepting it all and moving on: "Don't think twice / It's alright."
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