n. infantile pattern of suckle-swallow movement in which the tongue is placed between incisor teeth or between alveolar ridges during initial stage of swallowing (if persistent can lead to various dental abnormalities) v. [content removed due to Bush campaign to clean up the internet] n. act of nyah-nyah v. pursuing with relentless abandon the need to masticate and thrust the world into every bodily incarnation in order to transform it, via the act of salivation, into nutritive agency

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dear Mister

and Mizzus Students who wrote me emails or shook my hand--

Thank-you. It makes me happy to know I was okay. You didn't have to say that, but it definitely makes me happy.

Buddy who is helping me find a venue--

Wow. I will bring some kind of fabulous food. And booze. And I will find you a girlfriend (most girls I am attracted to are straight anyways, so I might as well introduce them to you, even if you are worse than me in your fickle ways). You have made me feel like my friends in B'ham might eventually extend beyond one person and a bunch of people I feel weird about running into (although I don't)(but still I could)(but I haven't, so obviously it's an okay place to set up shop)(etc.).

Art Studio Landlord Man--

It would be nice if you got back to me about the availability of my own studio for a reading with people who are coming from out of town to read and attend. I realize you have your own musical plays with children on the same day that I was planning my once-a-year reading, and I realize that you're too busy to provide us with calendars of your events, but it would be really nice if you could respond to my emails, notes, or questions, especially when I am panicking (I am) and trying my damndest to find an appropriate venue that I ultimately wish could be my own studio, but it *probably* cannot because there will be a hundred(ish) singing little hearts right below my poorly insulated little studio with a shared entrance.

It would especially be nice for you to respond to my multiple calls after you asked me, with one day's notice right before my last week of classes, to make you spare keys for the fire inspection, which I did and only had to do because you're too disorganized to hold extra keys to the studios you rent. It would seem only fair to trade panic for panic.


You are the most awesome dog. And I swear to god I will take you on a walk tomorrow.

P.S. How do you get so fluffy and cute?
P.P.S. The recent bout of growling at anyone who approaches me is a little overly-protective. Just saying.

Student who offered a letter of apology in his final portfolio--

For some reason I am too freaked out to read it. You kinda made classes uncomfortable for the last two weeks, and I know that has a lot to do with my own sensitivity, but it's true. And now I feel reluctant to read the apology. I don't understand why. I reckon we could've been friends otherwise, since you are older than me and obvious skilled in areas that I am not. But I am too weirded out by the whole being obscurely dismantled by someone who might have been my friend to even want to read your apology.

Buddy who didn't come to visit this particular winter--

I miss you horribly. I think of you all the time. I wish you could have come this winter, but since that's not right for this time of your life, I cross my fingers that you find the next move, and that I see you sometime this next year.

Missus Goddaughter--

I've been working on this for you:

thank you Mr. Art Studio Landlord Man for metnally hearing this and calling (!) me!!!

now I have two possible venues! It's actually going to happen!!!
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