Just before I logged into my email account tonight, I thought: "I'm going to hear back from X Review now with a I'm sorry, but..."

This isn't a normal thought for me before logging in, and it's not exactly Y months since I submitted either. But it's exactly what I thought today ten seconds before I received the rejection.

I've been anxious lately. And my class was incredibly under-enrolled and so was cancelled. And I don't have much money, but the bills keep coming in. And something happened with my eye that felt like I had a paper cut on the pupil, and it swelled up and leaked pus-like stuff all day. I think we can officially call this "a bad week."

I'm going to friggin' spam my work out there.
And I'm going to start writing to an exercise first thing in the morning.
And bike more.
And stop having bad psychic moments.
Or feeling anxious in the middle of the night.
And do better instead.

The perk of the day was that, squinting from under a handkerchief, I finished the book The Poet and the Murderer, and I liked it.

"The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care" (Dickinson).