I've been thinking quite a bit lately about how we integrate the past into our present, how we reconcile our memories.

One of my close friends is writing right now about how when people work/live within structures of violence, they must in a way accept the beast in order to survive.

and then I'm still reading Moby-Dick and was struck by how Ahab went insane because he didn't reconcile himself to the violence done to his body, but instead dissembled, hiding his rage to brood upon it; thus creating a symbol that ultimately became larger than anything else in his life... out of a disturbing, but limited memory. So he (I presume having not finished the book) was the one who destroyed himself, and whatever the whale is going to do (I haven't gotten there) will merely be the physical world coinciding.

How horrifying. So I'm curious by what processes do people incorporate past grief? Obviously you can't erase the past, or force yourself to forget it, which I think is sometimes the urge behind "letting it go." But if someone constantly remembers, they likely can drive themselves insane as their ghosts somehow become more real than anything tangible. I wonder what the healthy balance between letting-go / remembering might look like, and how incorporating past sadness differs from remembering joy or happiness. Any thoughts?

Oh, and I just saw the documentary The Protagonist, and thought it was very good.