this is my word of the day.

i love awkward.

awkward is lovely.

stilted and bumbling. sweet, laden with emergence, another favorite word.

and just look at it... it has both an "a" and "w" in there twice, backwards and forwards, almost a palindrome, but too bumbling to get there.

i used to mispell it. but now i don't because it makes sense.

that "awk" sound you make when you are only 10% of the way into a fall, not a bad fall, just a small fall. like when you are ice skating and you know you're going to giggle and get back up. in contrast to the ever popular "shit," the sound "awk" is not something you say right before making a colassal mistake that costs you your life, but is rather the sound you make when a minor trick has hitched your step. plus: you'll survive it just fine.

it can be so delicious to be awkward. the type of "torturous" you enjoy without qualifying as a masochist. the awkwardness of dancing with a new person, watching their rhythm and trying to fit it, or into it, or around it, or with it. the awkwardness of finding your way through a conversation that is embedded in a big question mark. the awkwardness of a cloud just trying to hydrate itself enough to move and shift and sweep.

enough, enough. this is awkward, so i shall go to wine night...